Did you recently hear your mom saying; ‘You will always be my child, even as you become a wife’?!
You are a bride-to-be and your mom, a mother-of-the-bride?!
Here begins, the most stimulating journey of your life. One which is full of surprises, flavored with some sad but many a wonderful moments, making it just priceless.Orchestrating a wedding is just not simple, no matter how grand or not it is. In times past, the mother used to be the official hostess of the event. She would orchestrate the entire event, with the bride giving almost no input. But the times have changed. Contemporary lifestyle has resulted in complete role reversal. Though a mother still plays the most important role in her daughter’s wedding, she is ‘the person responsible’ right from planning till the bidaai. However, she now is accompanied at every step, by her girl of Gen-Next.
Today’s girls influence and guide their mothers to keep up with the current trends. Isn’t it really an unmatchable joy, taking your mom for a quick make-over or help her stay in that ‘Ohh wow, looking-so-cool’ category?! I am sure, you are nodding!!
A mother-of-the-bride should look like the most distinguished woman that she is. But most often, she is seen living in a tornado of appointments, planning and details. Consequently, almostforgetting what she herself should be wearing and how she should be looking!!
Here comes your responsibility to manage this ‘mother-of-the-bride’!!
Dressing her in style
Apart from your own wedding dress, your mother’s dress is one of the most important wardrobe decisions you need to make. She should stand out as a distinguished member of the wedding party, but shouldn’t upstage the bride either. While choosing a dress, consider the formality of the wedding, the season, the wedding colors and how the dress will look in photographs.
• Making it color right
Choosing the right color for her dress is as important. Stay within the same color family as the bridesmaids. The mother-of-the-bride does not have to match the bridesmaids, she ideally shouldn’t. But going with a color from the same family, would set her association with the bridesmaids, yet letting her make that distinguished statement.
• Playing it safe
Avoid colors like black, white or red.
o Unless the wedding has a black-n-white theme in particular, black implies mourning. Otherwise, it just looks too classy and chic, depends if the family doesn’t mind her dressed like that.
o White is not considered as auspicious in Hindu wedding. In a catholic wedding, white, including ivory and cream are generally the colors for the bride and nobody should actually touch these colors. If the bride wears another color, ask her whether a white dress is acceptable, though traditionally it is not.
o Red and other flashy colors may be seen as attempts to upstage the bride, but it could be done tastefully.
• Keeping it neutral
A mother, for her age, role and aesthetics surely looks elegant in a semi-formal dress, unless it is too formal an affair. Going with a neutral shade can never go wrong, such as beige, champagne, gray, rose, lavender and why not a few blue ones. All these neutral tones enhance most of the colors used in the wedding. Again, be careful about any obvious clashes.
• Looking season-friendly
Dressing against the law of season is not advisable.
o Bold colors and airy fabrics lighten the warmer months.
o Lighter tones are preferable for spring weddings.
o Darker tones and rich materials with heavy work are attractive during the fall.A silvery gray dress looks lovely at winter weddings.
• Suiting the time
Time schedule of the wedding should be the deciding factor for dress-codes.
o Light, but bright colors for a daytime affair.
o If it’s an evening wedding, you’re going to have to dress up more than usual. It is apt to flaunt beads, sequins, and other sparkles during a late-evening affair.But keep her personality and role. You will find various styles which are unembellished, easy, and elegant — perfect for her casual style.
• Locating it right
Where will the ceremony and reception take place? A ballroom? A park? An open-air hall? If it is outdoors, she will have to trek throughout the event. Will there be air-conditioning in summer or a good heating system in winter? Will she need to do a lot of walking? A lot of sitting?
Settle these question-marks, before zeroing in on a style of dress for her.
A style that makes her feel comfortable is just perfect. Remember, she can’t escape the event even for a minute and might be wearing this one from early morning until late at night. So, above all, it is all about her comfort.
•Getting an in-law stamp
Don’t forget to call the mother-in-law-to-be (groom’s mother), before swiping your card. She is not obligated to wear the same color, but the two mothers may choose to co-ordinate. Or they may want to dress in colors that do not clash. It really depends on how they decide to balance the formality standards at both ends. Believe, extending this simple courtesy would go a long-way in nurturing this most important relationship-to-be of yours!
Discovering a perfect hairdo
Mothers have a lot fewer options as compared to brides especially with hairdo. Plan your mother’s look well in advance to avoid last minute confusions. Make sure that her hairstyle is different from her usual style.
Do not experiment with cut or color. Make sure it doesn’t make her feel uncomfortable. Get it done a fortnight back.
• A master stroke
No matter, how simple it is, an expert can make her feel comfortable carrying that style. Even if you are planning to keep it down in a simple style, go for a blow-dry or something. Do not forget to do a prior booking for your mother too.
• Accessories to just compliment
Everyday, loads of accessories are thrown in the markets. But for her, elegance in simplicity is the mantra. She definitely needs a look which is different from her every day style, but keep it simply formal. Subtle use of accessories is just perfect.Even if you are planning to pull her hair back in a bun, avoid use of extravagant accessories.
• Over-doing – na na
Sticking to her natural look is just perfect. A drastic change in her appearance may not look pleasant or even make her comfortable.
• Soft curling
A simple look that looks pleasant on almost every face.
However exciting it is, ultimately the day fills her with anxiety and sadness. So, be it dress, hair or make-up, do not over-do it. Nothing helps her radiate more than feeling calm, confident, and comfortable on the wedding day.
A mother-daughter kinship is the most adorable one and marriage is only meant to make it more joyous.Shopping together can be a great bonding experience, too.
Just go for it girls!!!
– Ruchi Adlakha Bhaumik